Atomiccleansing's Blog

Shit or Spit

atomiccleansing — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 03:43:19 +0000

There’s a game. It’s called shit or spit. Here’s how you play. When your laying in bed with your significant other, you let a rank fart go under the covers, Then you spit up in the air, leaving them with 2 options: Spit in the face, or, a self served Dutch oven. try it.

The new alice in chains.

atomiccleansing — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:16:17 +0000

If your a huge AIC fan like me you might’ve heard that they recently reformed with singer William Duvall (Neon christ,other 80′s hardcore bands) First of all I wanna say R.I.P Layne Staley. But all you fuckin rubbernecker idiots out there who won’t even give this record a chance because of some retarded loyalty to the original band are missin out hardcore. Ive heard people saying Duvall is just trying to sound like Staley. BULLSHIT!!! Read the fucking credits to every AIC song. Who fucking wrote 95% of the songs? Jerry Fucking Cantrell! Thats who you fuck! Also, whoever the “lead singer” is, Cantrells vocals are always just as, if not more present on all their songs. Thats part of the awesomeness that is Alice in Chains, is those dark depressing vocal harmonies. So obviously any reformation of the band is going to sound the pretty much the same. So anyways the new record is due out in september, its called “Black gives way to blue”. The first single is out now and its fucking awesome! I found this Audio, but if you go on Aliceinchains.com, theres a fucking wicked ass video too.( Also its one of the coolest band websites i’ve ever seen!) So fuckin check it out. You wont be dissapointed! And if you are, you’re a loser, and you got no business listening to a band this awesome anyhow!

A letter.

atomiccleansing — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:41:34 +0000

Dear Nancy grace:
You stupid bitch. Shut your fucking mouth. Your kids are ugly! I hate you!

Jon motherfuckin Lajoie motherfucker!!!

atomiccleansing — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:20:23 +0000

">Dude, if you havent heard of Jon Lajoie, you obviously have a tiny penis, or a humongous vagina. This guy has been writing parody songs and posting them on youtube for a couple years, and he just released a cd of those songs a couple months back. Anyway here’s a couple of his videos. If you wanna see more just go search Jon Lajoie on youtube.">

Tha mans mans bed!

atomiccleansing — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:57:21 +0000

What can I say. This is the Ultimate man’s man bed. What woman could turn you down once she feasts her eyes on this fuckin badass mamajama? No woman, thats who! Awesome!!!

Fucking Idiot!

atomiccleansing — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 18:47:29 +0000

This is just an ad I found on kijiji while perusing the job postings. This guy is such a fuckin loser that I felt the need to share this shit, So here it is:

this is a very unorthodox ad, but i am looking for a woman who is an 11/10 on looks. the kind of woman who turns every mans head when she walks or drives by. and here is why, hopefully you can sympathize with my reasoning. i am in love. i have lost the love of my life, and i want her back. i need to appear to have moved on, but require tiny little shreds of evidence, such as photos with my gorgeous new “girlfriend”. nothing X rated, just enough to make things appear as tho we are a real couple. now lets keep in mind that this is ONLY intended to be for show. im not looking for sex, or a real relationship. basically i just want to make my ex feel that she is going to lose me once and for all if she doesn’t come back. i would be forever grateful to anyone who can help me succeed in getting her back. anyway, here is a list of the physical qualities i am looking for

slim and in shape with an excellent bikini body

height and wieght not really important. if you look fantastic in a 2 piece, thats all i care about. at least a C cup

preferably blonde or brunette

eye color not important

someone who has a classicly beautiful face.

someone who dresses classy, not trashy, and generally looks high maintenance.

also lets keep in mind that these are not the qualities I look for in a mate, these are just a general outline of the qualities that will make my ex feel like i am better with out her.

feel free to contact me for more info. compensation will be negotiated based on your qualifications. but will be quite generous for teh small amount of work you will actually have to do. please have multiple pics available upon request, since i dont want to waste your time, or any of mine.

What a fuckin loser! FUCKIN GET OVER IT BUDDY!! ya fuckin creeper. Jesus. Some peoples children!

Blah blah blah!

atomiccleansing — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 06:05:57 +0000

This blogging nonsense is hard. so I haven’t been keeping up but people keep telling me i should write a book of all the bullshit I think of so I was thinking Ill just post some random thoughts I have from day to day on here, like this one: You know how chicks that fuck around are considered sluts but dudes that do are studs. But then older women who fuck young dudes are cougars and older dudes that fuck young chicks are creeps. So its kinda balanced out. Or did you ever think that if you were fucking some dude up the ass and you reached around and grabbed his dick, it would feel like you went right through. think about that shit.

The world mourns A fuckin skinner?

atomiccleansing — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:07:55 +0000

A child Molester has died, and the world is in mourning. How fucked up is that. Is it OK to molest children as long as you are entertaining? Sure the freak had some good tunes and influenced music as we know it but I don’t think anything cancels out the fact that he molested countless children and bought their silence, and I think it just goes to show you how fucked up our world is that everybody is willing to basically ignore this shit. Anyways, good fuckin riddance to this fuckin skinner goof.

I love cats.

atomiccleansing — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:31:21 +0000

Alright, Alright, Im not really gonna kill these fuckin cats but fuck would i ever like to. To anyone who was offended by that post IM SORRY. and fuck you.

Cat Killer!!

atomiccleansing — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 16:14:29 +0000

I fucking hate cats. I also hate people that own cats and let them run all over the neighbourhood. the people who live next door to me own like 10 cats.(not exaggerating) and all 10 of those cats use my garden as a litter box. I have shot them with my pellet gun, sprayed them with a hose, thrown shoes at them, but they keep fucking coming back. So I decided to watch Gummo for some cat killing tips, and Ive decided on the broken glass in the tuna fish. I asked my girlfreind if i could nail the corpses to the fence to keep other cats away but she said no. Also I’ll be placing mouse traps at the spots where they come through the fence. that should break their fucking legs. So anyways Ill keep yous guys updated on this shit. Heres some pics of dead cats.